what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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