I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
