GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
