I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
