Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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