There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Randomize
