i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
