i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Well I just put wine in my tea
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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