It's Friday. Sex?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
