I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
