What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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