Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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