I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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