How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Randomize
