why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
