we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
