hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
