He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
