He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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