Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
