Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
