1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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