I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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