Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
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