you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Randomize
