I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
ugly people sure do ruin things
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
