He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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