the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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