He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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