I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
