did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
We're too hungover to prance.
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