didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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