we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
