i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Randomize
