I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
