he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
