Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(651): View more from Minnesota

I accidentally had phone sex last night

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(303): View more from Colorado

Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.

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(619): View more from California

I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..

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(252): View more from North Carolina

there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone

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(925): View more from California

I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched

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(747): View more from California

I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land

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