I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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