so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
