toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
