look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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