i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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