i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We have started to decorate penises.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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