Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
