Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
