I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I love you. Go after that dick
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
