oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
