I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
