So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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