Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
